31. resolutions

cosmopolitan magazine + getting nails done = inspiration to begin my new years resolution list:

1-be more adventurous. try new foods, stay out later, chose fun over school.

2-step out of my comfort zone (slightly similar to 1). talk to strangers, smile more, go places i would initially refuse to.

3-make more friends. become involved, initiate conversations, (see above).

4-get involved. self-explanatory.

5-be honest. with myself and others.

6-be more conscious. eat healthier, exercise more.

7-be happy. this is a biggie. this pretty much sums up every previous resolution-be honest about what makes me happiest. do things that will benefit my well-being. surround myself with people that will ultimately lift me up. but first, be able to lift myself up.

8-travel. be sure to explore and take advantage of traveling opportunities.

i will probably add more as they come to me. new york tomorrow!

30. winter break

...has included a lot of working and family functions.

+spent the past 6 hours gift shopping with mom. also scored a pair of marc jacobs boots that i'm currently obsessing over.

+been working every day this week but it feels good.

+cousin hannah was in town. went to cousin daniel's bar mitzvah.

+leaving for new york in less than a week. hello shopping.

+hopefully planning a trip to dc+atlanta over spring break. keeping fingers crossed.

+reading lots.

+need to sew up the inside of my purse and get an eye mask.

+gotta figure out plans for new years eve.

that's it for now. i'll probably post next from new york. wee!

29. things on my mind

+how is it december already? i can't wait for finals to be over but i also want a few more days to prep.

+also, i am currently writing a paper that is for none of my classes but is also due dec. 10th.

+seriously can't wait to be in ny during the holidays

+my main gurl taura is visiting in oh about a month

+i want more books

+the apartment search begins just after winter break. can't wait!

edit: i can't stop listening to "party in the usa" by miley cyrus. shh.

28. halloweener

halloween is ovaaa. successful weekend, i would say.

friday night i went to melissa's party at her apartment. i dressed as a lion!

ron didn't get into the spirit.

last night i spent at home--passed out candy to trick or treaters and studied a bit. lame i know, but its midtermzz and i gotta get shit together. anyways, later that night i decided to go out for a bike ride to the west hollywood parade. i was a french girl!

and all of the costumes were INSANE at the parade. i definitely want to get a group together for next year to go again. make a whole outing of it. anyways, back to studying pyramids and dynasties for me! xx

27. woah, hey.

it's been a long time. i've been incredibly busy with classes, work, cec, concerts and friends. i don't have many picture to show for it, unfortunately, but i did have my birthday party on friday:

be healthy! drink oj!

ron

whoopi, melissa.

and now it's the start of midterms. i have one tomorrow (math) and another on tuesday (life science). i'm starting to stress but hopefully all of my studying will pay off. i have been pushing myself incredibly hard, my brain feels fried. anyways, bye for now!

xx lauren

26. back!

i've been back at ucla for a little over a week now. it's been amazing! i'm living in a dorm with just me and michelle, and we share a bathroom with a couple of randoms. it's all good though because we have the best room! its so cute and SPACIOUS, unlike last year's cramped living quarters.

i started classes on thursday and i'm loving it so far! after looking at the syllabi for all of my classes, i realized that i won't have to write ANY papers this entire quarter. i'm not complaining! this is going to be a very relaxing 10 weeks. i will, however, work very hard when necessary.

my life science class seems awesome! the professor is really friendly and accessible, and he seems to really care about student learning. my art history professor is funny and nice too. she seems a little scattered and so i'll have to get used to that. but other than that, it should be a fun and challenging class! my math teacher is straight from the ukraine and her accent says it all. it's a little difficult to understand her and it will DEFINITELY take some getting used to but all in all i think (hope...) i'll be able to keep up in that class.

anyways, i'm gonna go eat some brunch now bye!!

25. Butthole

Tickle it.

24. back to blogging

things on my mind:

1) i want a crepe reallyyy bad. nutella mmm.

2) pancakes?

3) busy busy week!

4) two days until i find out my move-in date..

all for now, bye!

23. vacation?

yesterday i drove up to monterey with my parents, and we are staying here until sunday. the plan from there is to drive back down to the wine country just outside of santa barbara, and to come home monday. monday can't come soon enough. this is NOT a vacation, this is like a cruel experiment.

a reality tv show that follows my family on this trip would have gotten great ratings. we fight about nothing, yell and scream about god knows what. the shit that my dad goes on about is beyond me, but if i had it my way i would have stayed home and thrown a great party. i'm more tense than i have been all summer and i'm just counting down the days until we can go back home. fuck fuck fuck this.

22. things that have been going on recently:

- enjoying the tomatoes from mom's garden:

- hiked in malibu creek state park:

- gone to lovely parties:

-seen the midnight showing of harry potter:

etc etc etc.

21. can't stop listening

She & Him

Zooey Deschanel paired up with M.Ward to release throaty, melodic tunes--some covers, some of Zooey's own songs. I can't stop listening to their first and only album, Volume One. Where is Volume Two?

"Sweet Darlin'," She & Him

Wilco

Wilco just recently released Wilco (The Album). While it's definitely not one of my favorite albums, I can't get the song "You and I" out of my head. Wilco frontman Jeff Tweedy and Feist sing on this song, and it's absolutely beautiful. Listen to the lyrics--they get me every time.

"You and I," Wilco

Dirty Projectors

They hit the nail on the head with their most recent album, Bitte Orca. I can't help but fall in love with the soft and strong vocals that every song delivers.

"Stillness is the Move," Dirty Projectors

20. fourth of july

i spent my fourth of july with some great company.

sister sarah

whoopi snapping picture after picture

poppy!

tori brought amazing pineapple wine from hawaii. like nothing i have ever tasted.

we set off sparklers in the alley!

sweet sweet lily came too

it was a lovely night with great friends.

xx

19. tides turning

i got the most amazing internship with a wonderful woman! monday will be my last day at chic little devil and then i will begin my internship for Ele Keats!

18. Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth"--this too shall pass

According to an ancient Sufi story, there lived a king in some Middle Eastern land who was continuously torn between happiness and despondency. The slightest thing would cause him great upset or provoke an intense reaction, and his happiness would quickly turn into disappointment and despair. A time came when the king finally got tired of himself and of life, and he began to seek a way out. He sent for a wise man who lived in his kingdom and who was reputed to be enlightened. When the wise man came, the king said to him, "I want to be like you. Can you give me something that will bring balance, serenity, and wisdom into my life? I will pay any price you ask."

The wise man said, "I may be able to help you. But the price is so great that your entire kingdom would not be sufficient payment for it. Therefore it will be a gift to you if you will honor it." The king gave his assurances, and the wise man left.

A few weeks later, he returned and handed the king an ornate box carved in jade. The king opened the box and found a simple gold ring inside. Some letters were inscribed on the ring. The inscription read: This too shall pass. "What is the meaning of this?" asked the king. The wise man said, "Wear this ring always. Whatever happens, before you call it good or bad, touch this ring and read the inscription. That way, you will always be at peace."

From "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle Chapter 8

17. chic little devil wears prada

when i first came to chic little devil, i was introduced to the INTERN HANDBOOK. this worn out white binder was my first friend. after reading over my internship duties several times (as it requested), i had to sign my name in the back and answer some questions about myself. as i flipped through the previously filled-out pages, i noticed there wereway more intern entries than there were interns. after putting the intern handbook back where it was supposed to be, i stood awkwardly in the middle of the showroom.
that just about sums up my first day at chic little devil. i stood around awkwardly. when directed to shaina, the "intern manager," she looked over at me and my friend disgustingly and said "i'm with a client."
interns aren't interviewed before being hired at chic little devil. it's kind of a hit/miss type internship, where it's really up to you to make this worthwhile or not. i have yet to decide if it's a hit or miss for me.
the intern handbook strictly says that one may never miss a day. while this may have convinced me for the first half of my first day at the style house, i quickly learned better. you're lucky if the employees even bother to learn your name. with 6 other interns at the style house at one time, it's that whole "too many cooks spoil the broth" scenario. one intern puts something where it belongs, and another moves it elsewhere, to a place it looks better. after sweeping, an intern might mop the floor of the backroom, requiring another sweep. a lot of the time, the only work we get is to clean up the mistakes of the intern that's standing right next to you.
i feel like it's the first day of school every time i get dressed to go to chic little devil. you have to dress to impress, and wear your best clothes. the trendier, the better. heels are a plus. however, if i wore heels i would be six feet tall and in terrible pain and horrible moods by the end of the day.
i have had to mop, sweep, hang up fallen clothes, fold and refold bags, sweep the balcony, wash the dished, empty ashtrays, glue corkboards to walls, carry mounds of clothes, and fold up enormous and heavy rugs. i have been a janitor to chic little devil.
today was probably the best day for me. i'm hoping this means that things start to look up, because getting another internship this late in the summer seems unlikely. today i helped a "senior intern" (a girl my age who happens to know an employee there and doesn't have to do shit work) and i bsaically sat at a computer all day. this was, of course, while 3 other interns bleached the walls on the balcony for hours on end in an attempt to get the rust off. i realize that i need to play my cards right in this business. i did today and i'll do it again. this is devil wears prada shit. i'm almost down.

16. upbeat friday

i spent today with my mom. we went to moca to see an exhibit that i have been dying to check out. "a changing ratio" featured art by rothko, pollock, rauschenberg, lichtenstein, warhol, and oldenberg. it was pretty incredible.

rothko! there were a room full of them. they all seemed to be vibrating with different types of energy. this one was one of my favorites.

jackson pollock, number 1!!!! this was the first painting of the series that he did. you can see the excitement on my face.

after, we went to phillipe's downtown, where they have french-dipped sandwiches. delicious! i'm back home now, after of course going to the market to pick up the ingredients for our family dinner. summer is nice!

also, i have an interview for an internship on monday. it's for this brand, treesje, that make handbags. they seem to be a really nice company so i hope i get the position! and then i can leave that awful internship at the style house. fingerz crossed!!!

taura comes back on monday! i can't wait to have a nice long video chat with her. it'll be really good to catch up/make plans for when i come to visit her in arizona!

that's all for now, bye!

15. interesting start to summer

at this point, i'm just trying to find another internship/job. i'm a little desperate and i need to leave the style house as soon as possible. fingers crossed.

14. first day of work

bad: anorexic girls eating peanut m&ms and diet coke for lunch, mopping and sweeping floors, pretending to be busy for hours on end, straightening and re-straightening racks of clothes and jewelry, being ignored and treated poorly, standing on my feet for way too long, listening to dumb music and awful conversations.

good: looking at beautiful clothes all day, looking at beautiful jewelry all day, walking through downtown on my lunch break, discovering an amazing hole-in-the-wall mexican restaurant, making new friends, gaining "experience," beautiful views of los angeles from the balcony, very discounted (and originally expensive) clothes i'll probably buy.

13. thoughts

i have been spending the past few days with elayna. it's been nice.

things we have done:

-shopped. got a dress, a skirt, and a couple of pairs of shoes from urban outfitters--all on sale. i got a pair of sandals from anthropologie on sale as well, along with some bracelets from brass plum--3 for $10.

-ate. we have eaten so much goddamn food. 8 oz. (burger place), yogurtland, apple pan, farmer's market, chipotle, kokomo's, enzo's, bobaloca, paco's.

-slept. snuggled. taken pictures. etc.

and others:

-undie run was kind of amazing. i saw ucla in a completely different light, it seemed like a much happier and different place, a school i was actually proud to be a part of, friends i was happy to see.

-i've been exhausted and i haven't slept well in days. but i guess that's okay because it's summer.

-yesterday i saw a friend from high school who hadn't heard about my break-up. so i had to talk about that all over again and reliving it kind of sucked. yesterday was hard, today has been easier. it's a trend and it'll pass.

-i start my chic little devil internship on tuesday. i have to choose an outfit to make a good impression. the task seems absolutely daunting, as it's a style house and it seems practically impossible to dress the part.

-i'm still set on that mannin jewelry internship. i'll be emailing the woman shortly to see what her deal is. i want that internship, it was kind of made for me.

did i mention i'm tired?

12. spring//finals week

finals weekend/week was surprisingly...more than bearable. i actually have enjoyed the last few days:

friday//i moved out. that was surprisingly tiring but it felt so nice to say "peace out!" to the roomies. i left a few things there that i'm going have to pick up. after that, i came home with michelle in tow and we did our astronomy study guide. we went to stir crazy and got it done by like 9:30. then i did all my art history flashcards after she left and let's just say i was going a little mad.

saturday//probably the worst of these past couple of days, and not even that bad. i didn't do all that much studying (i had been really on top of it in the past week so i was able to chill) but a combination of shitty things kind of piled out. i ended my night with "drag me to hell," which i saw with my parents and sissy. although i was scared out of my mind while i was watching it, it was really well done and scary.

sunday//even though i had a final the next day, i did a lot on sunday. i went out to coffee with gigi, which was really nice. we walked over to stir crazy and talked to a strange guy, drank tea and felt the nice breeze. after that whoopi and ron picked me up and we went to wingstop. it was delicious! we brought it back to my house and watched the end of the laker game, which was exciting. then i booked it over to UCLA to pick up some cec people. we all went to yogurtland, the whole speakers staff from the year. joanne paid as a thanks to everyone, and we had a great time. i can't until i'm legit on staff next year. finally, i went the the 2N party that was being held at kip's apartment. it was wine and cheese, which was nice. but the party was a little lame, and i didn't get to see everyone i wanted. i did get to see my RAs, which was a lot of fun. me and michelle left around 12:30 and i got a good nights sleep before my final

monday//i had my astronomy final! i think it went well. i knew at least half of the questions for sure and i was able to make pretty educated guesses on the rest. i'll probably find out about it in the next couple days.

today//i had my art history final today, and i think it went really well! with each essay question i felt like i knew more and more about what the TA wanted from me. i know i'll get an A in the class. then i went to pick up laynie at the airport (after circling about 5 times around) and here we are, hanging out on my bed as if it hasn't been almost a year. ok yogurtland! byeee

11. spring//week 10

i've actually had a good week!

monday-spent the day doing my paper, went to pinkberry with mom. spent the night at home

tuesday-drove to school, learned about dada in art history and the big bang in astronomy. i also got my modernity paper in art history and got an A-. go me! then later that night i hung out with ron and whoopi

wednesday-no class! woohoo. i woke up and walked murphy, it was nice because i had a chance to read my book, i cant wait until i have more time to do that during the summer. then i came home and spent the day inside, it was really nice actually. i had lunch and then i finished my music in LA paper. i think it turned out really well, i'm pretty proud of it. then i printed out all the thumbnails for my art history notecards, i felt very accomplished for the day.

thursday-drove to school and had really boring classes. i had lunch with nigel, lisa, megan and casey at covel and we had long bitchy talks. then i rushed back to my dorm and straightened my hair to go to an internship interview! it's for an art gallery and we'll see if i get it. who knows, but i find out today. then gigi came to ucla for dinner and we saw 500 days of summer, courtesy of cec sneaks. it was really good! i loved it. i basically crashed last night because i was incredibly tired.

now i'm in class and waiting to do my music presentation, and then to turn in my paper. i'm having lunch with michelle and then i'm moving out!! so excited. and then michelle is coming to my house so that we can work on our astronomy study guide. woo!

10. note to self:

things to look forward to:

-interning at chic little devil style house: surrounded by high fashion designers, helping out with photoshoots, doing coffee runs, becoming familiar with downtown LA, getting spoiled/spending all my money on clothes, dressing cute for work, $200 to their style house at the end of the internship.

-elayna visiting: june 9th-14th, going to the beach, shopping, having bezzie time, late night talks and antics, ice cream runs, dressing cute wherever we go, stealing each other's clothes, seeing high school friends together.

-end of the year festivities: undie run with sarah and elayna, elayna meeting my ucla friends (aka 2N), thursday night party with the floor (just stopping by), MOVING OUT on friday.

-being out of school: moving out, having my own room (at home), all my clothes in one place, not having to worry about school, summer weather=summer wardrobe, interning, seeing friends, traveling (SB, SF, OC).

-living situation next year: living in a double, with one of my best friends, decorating it cute, having my own bathroom, meeting new people on my floor.

-meeting new people: CEC, my internships, 2S (in rieber), friends living in apartments.

see? top that.

9. --days

so i pretty much figured out what i have to do, and what i thought was right, was wrong. so oh well, that's okay.

i finish my freshman year in 9 days. i'm not really feeling nostalgic, or reflective. i'm just glad to be done with the emotionally draining year that i had. i'm trying to think back to my freshman year of high school, if it was this bad. i don't think it was but i do remember each year of hs getting better and better. so i look forward to improving my life in september.

until then, i have the summer to get through. internship, friends, etc. laynie is coming the day of my last final and i'm looking forward to that.

but let's just get through the last 9 days before anything.

8.

i'm hoping that if i pretend, i can fool others, and maybe myself. but it might just lead to more bad than good. and i'm not sure if i actually have the energy for that.

7. girl talkkk

so yesterday i went to see girl talk, which was a free event for ucla students put on by CEC. let's just say CEC was very successful...and that this concert was a shitshow. but i would expect no less when girl talk is playing for free.

i ended up getting right up in front, about 5 feet away from the stage. it was fairly comfortable while we were standing there waiting, but as soon as rye rye (1/2 of opening bands) came on, comfort was out the window as people smashed up against one another and drunk sorority girls used me as their launch pad so that they could jump and scream as high as they could.

but back to the concert. rye rye. this little little woman had purple hair and jammed and danced like she was in a missy elliott video. check out her myspace. it's kind of hilarious. when she came on stage i could NOT stop laughing as she shook her hips and jumped from side to side.

she also had this female DJ who was FIERCE. she looked like a cross between rihanna and that bitch eva from america's next top model. i really want to find a picture of her, because before rye rye came out i was down with this girl.

after rye rye was some rapper, i don't remember his name but it's okay. he sounded like every other shitty rapper. he made references to "ring around the rosey" but had a pocket full of "dough." it was just the same beats and songs about "who is hotter."

girl talk was fun. although i kind of felt like i was at a rave, and i definitely wouldn't see him again in concert, i did have a good time. at one point i had to leave from being so close because everybody was so sweaty. i joined my friends andrew and milo, who were in the back. it was so much more fun because i actually had space to BREATHE. after the concert (which ended at 11), i was incredibly dehydrated and i had to jump in the shower thanks to everybody's sweat. all in all, good night.

6. going

friday night was spent with gigi and sarah, we went to chipotle and stared at the sad sacks eating there, we ran into julia too. so she sat with us and it was really nice to reminisce on the complete ridiculousness that was high school. then me and gigi and sarah went back to gigi's house to talk some more, it all felt good and right.
saturday i went shopping and scored at the nordstrom sale, but my mom isn't letting me bring my new clothes back to my dorm (understandably so, i have so much shit that i need to bring home).
and that's about the only things that were remarkable about my weekend, or at least worth looking back at.
i have 2 more weeks to get through and i keep realizing that 2 weeks until i'm done=2 weeks until laynie comes to visit. can't wait for that, we are going to have such a great time. taura left for berlin early this morning and i'm already missing her.
the amount of shit that i need to do in the next week, just to PREPARE to begin studying for finals is kind of ridiculous. but i'm ready to face it and get it all over with.

5. almost thereeee

so this week has been really long and draining, not really what i expected. i'm hoping that this weekend will pay off for it though, i have some pretty good plans:

friday: class until 12, then hiking, then seeing gigi and sarah at night

saturday: shopping at nordstrom with mom (sale!), stopping at american rag (toms?), watching that 50s movie for class

sunday: jazz-reggae fest

monday: chill.

let's hope all that works out, and that i end up having a good time. now, i have to go get dinner and make it to the CEC office by 6. pharrell is speaking tonight, that should be pretty interesting. i have no idea what he could possibly talk about.

4. finallyyyyy

so this weekend was all work and no play. or maybe a little play. but sitting at my dining room table for hours while i killed myself over this essay for art history that was on baudelaire and modernity and painters and mary cassatt and auguste renoir was not tight. but ANYWAYS. i'm finally done and i don't LOVE the essay but i'll get a B or better.

last night i walked over to gigi's house and we shared a couple bottles of wine between the two of us and had a really nice talk. we discussed everything that had happened in our lives since we last saw each other (in march) and it was really refreshing to be with her. she's known me since 10th grade and that's a lot more than what i can say for everyone else that i trust at the moment. so hearing her opinion on my life just seems to be a reflection of who i was and how i have evolved. and so it gave me a really fresh perspective.

i got a 91% on my astronomy midterm and i did not do all that studying. needless to say i am very relieved and i reallyyy wish that i could minor in astrophysics. sadly that isn't offered. and to make matters worse i saw star trek today (which was AWESOME) and i was like, well maybe i could minor in just physics? but THAT isn't offered either. so i'll just stick with math.

i emailed the woman today about the internship (which i was supposed to hear about on saturday) and she said she would call me tomorrow. sooo now i have to wait until tomorrow afternoon. but i can take just one more day.

bedtime? yes.

3. carnivalz

so of course when my dad wanted to drag me to the hancock park carnival today (my elementary school) i threw a pretty good bitch fit. but there ended being a henna booth and so OF COURSE i had to stand in line for an hour to pay 5 tickets for one (1 ticket=1 dollar=ripoff). i saw all these people walking around with crazy elaborate designs and i just couldn't resist.

so i get in line and i'm behind a couple of 12 year old girls that are kind of cute and whatever. and then we are cut by some 6th grade bitches who thought they were so cute with their "class of 2008" hancock park shirts. but whatever, that wasn't even the worst of it. so THEN these janky bitches started to hang out kind of next to me and the cute 12 year olds, and eventually decide they are gonna cut ME. and i would totally have said something had i wanted to get beaten up. but they had like gross purple metallic streaks in their hair and words and drawings written in green sharpie all up their arms.

so anyways they ended up cutting me and being all like "yo let us get sum matching turtles on our arms" (which is SO GAY) and so i just waited for the next henna bitch to be available and i took my fucking place. they bitched and whined but like whatever i wanted my damn tat. and then when this OTHER mom tried to tell the girls to back the fuck up off their turtle shit i swear they were gonna jump the poor woman. AND she was hood. so just goes to show you how hard they were. so i finally got my henna (pictured) and scampered home happily. now i'm chilling. still waiting to hear about my astronomy midterm and my jewelry internship. i should also get started on this paper...it's due tuesday and i have nada. oh well!

2. getting too much and not enough done

i just got back from seeing "angels and demons" and i'm pretty sure that i had about 3 heart attacks during the whole movie. it was cool that i was able to identify most of the sculptures and paintings and churches they referenced, so props to professor black from winter quarter. also, i always find it really fascinating to learn about the history of religion and whatnot so i enjoyed it. it makes me want to watch the history channel or documentaries of some sort, or maybe read some books.

i really want to read more books this summer. i know i always say that and the fact of the matter is that i have a lot of shit going on this summer, but i hope that i can at least pick up something.

i guess i have a lot of standards for summer, and a lot of expectations for myself. i have a fear of actually writing them all down because then it will be all the more apparent that i won't get shit done. but whatever.

in other news, i'm waiting to hear about the results from my recent astronomy midterm. i'm also on pins and needles to see if i get that third internship at mannin jewelry. i really think that i could get a lot out of this job, and perhaps it could lead to something in the fall. i really liked the owner and the studio was just so cute. so hopefully i'll hear about both of those tomorrow.

1. restart.

recently i've come to love the lunch they serve at de neve. there's an entire sandwich bar, complete with loafs of bread, veggies, and different types of meat. personally, i don't get any bread, and i load up on veggies and tuna. today, i decided to go and sit by myself.

i usually haaaate eating alone but today i brought my book with me and i ended up having just as great a time (if not more so) than had i gone with friends. i was able to take my time, read, and just chill. i am definitely going to do that again.

anyways, i guess i've decided that i'm going to start writing in my blog once again...and to leave my livejournal. random friends from 7th grade still follow me and who knows if they actually still use it but i don't want to risk that shit. so blogspot it is. woohoo!

EDIT: genius-ing simon & garfunkle gives you a great genius playlist. just putting that out there..